did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
