M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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