kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
