Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
