he puts the penis in happiness.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
