You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
