My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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