physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
