just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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