Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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