If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
