we're blogging at a bar
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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