Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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