i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
