Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
