he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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