The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
