Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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