Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
