Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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