Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
