So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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