just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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