Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
