We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize