scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
