Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
