i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
