i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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