Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
