Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
