it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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