I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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