Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
