Apparently you make a good broom.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you traded sex for a burrito?
you win again, gameday.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
