Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize