WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize