Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize