I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize