Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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