Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
