Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
