I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
