He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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