Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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