im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
