I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
