I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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