bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Drunk is not a location!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
