i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
