im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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