I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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