I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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