Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
