It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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