burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
