Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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