How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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