I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
