she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
