I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
